Other things teasing Pokémon

Pokemon Theme Song Parody:

A lot of other TV shows are the best
Pokemon never was
To hurt them is my real test,
To kill them is my cause
I will travel anywhere
Just to kill those things
Each Pokemon needs to die
Guns will stay by my side
Pokemon!
Gotta kill em’ all!
Use a gun or a knife
I know it’s my dream
Pokemon!
Oooh. You gotta kill em’ all!
This world doesn’t need stupid things
Pokemon!
Gotta kill em’ all
Enemies to kill
Their brains will be blown out.
You don’t kill them and I’ll kill you
Pokemon!
Gotta burn em’ all!
Gotta shoot em’ all!
Pokemon!

From: "Matthew Skrzypczak"
Subject: 73 great ways to kill pokemon
Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2000 20:40:27 -0400

heres a list of 73 ways on how to torture and kill pokemon(not pokelovers, we must try to save there souls from pokemon!!!) Oh and I call pokmon pokemoan or whatever, I still call them sh*t

1. Tie there limbs to vechicles and put the petal to the metal.
2. Tie them to stakes in the desert and have a bucket of water just a little out of the pokemans reach and watch him cry for a drink and watch him struggle.
3.Put honey on them, then find a huge ant pile, make all the ants mad(kicked the ant pile works :)) Then drop the pokeman with honey in the ant pile and whatch them scwerm.
4. Throw them in a forest fire(don't cause one, only look for one, wait for one, or just make a small fire and stick them in hehe)
5. Tie them to a board and practice knife throwing.
6. Tie some fireworks that fly to the pokemon, then light the wick and sit back and watch.
7. Put headphones on the pokemon and make them listen to the stupid barney song on full blast, oh and please don't forget a rain coat.
8. Scratch on a chalk board and tourture the pokeman, and don't forget ear muffs. 9. Have the pokeman parachute....without a parachute.
10. Stick a glass tube of acid in there mouth, then take a sladge hammer and brake the tube, and pokeman.
11. Hold them by there head, then go to a pool or some water source, stick there head in the water for 5 sec, then take out for 2 then 10 sec in the water, and take out for 2 sec and put back in for 15 sec.......its real fun to watch.
12. Kick them in the middle of the road when theres a smi comeing.
13. Take one of those strips of a thousand fire crackers and wrap it around the pokeman, light, watch.
14.See if a pokemon can live through a 50 story drop.
15. Make them walk in a mine feild and say there is a path where there are no mines but there are mines all over and theres no way to live past one step.
16. See if a pokeman can fly without wings, a plane, or anything from a 100 story building, on the roof.
17.Have a friend pitch the pokeman to you when you have a sledge hammer.
18. drop them in a pit of snakes, poisonous.
19.Put them in a house, thats hooked up to a nuclear bomb.
20. Put them in an endless pit.
21. Never feed them and have them in a room and theres a window with food on the other end, and its possible for the pokeman to smell. Now thats tourture.
22. Put them in an oversized geirbel ball(I don't care about spelling) and put them in and roll it at 750 miles per hour, make sure you have a clothes pin on your nose.
23. make them eat sh*t
24.Rip them to pieces.
25. Put them in a room air tight. No air gets in or out. Watch.
26. Tell a knight that a pokeman said something about their mother, now thats bloody.
27. Shine a bright light in there eyes, make them go blind, make them hear something loud, make them go deaph and them put them in a room will a lion that hasen't been fed for about a week or two.
28. Use them as a soccer ball.
29. Put them in a Vcr and see what happens. Oh and remember to try hard, they don't fit to well. So use all your strength.
30. Whip them everytime they move, breathe or do anything. If your lucky, they won't breathe.
31.Use them as a hacky sack.
32.Take a bucket of gasoline poure some of it on them(make sure you tie them down, better results) and make a trail of gas from them and light a match a drop it on the trail. Oh theres yellow, red an a burning pokeman.
33. Shoot them in a rocket. Make sure they make it alive, then make a small hole in the wall and then there alot of sucktion and then the pokemon will be sucked through the hole, the pokemon changes in size, not the hole, and have a camra to watch it all.
34. Blow up a ballon and stick it in a pokemans mouth(with air) and make all the air go into him. Hold there nose, so the air can't go out there nose.
35. Slit the pokemans arm or limb. then find a group of sharks, see how long it will survive.
36. make them listen to one of those boreing scientists and make them talk about some junk and tie the pokemon down. The pain and tourture.
37.Hang them upsidedown and let the blood go to there head then let there head burst.
38. For printers use a pokeman for paper. To much red though.
39.Make them eat nails.
40. JUST SHOOT THEM!!!
41.Play dodge ball with them, with spiked balls.
42. Make a pokeman bend over, take one of those tennis ball launchers, aim at their ass....FIRE THE TENNIS BALLS!!!(use burning ones)
43.Give them a harmless looking choclate bar. Let them eat it, and forget to tell them it had poison.
44. Take a Molitav Cocktail, light, throw, BURN!!
45.Record there stupid sound, pika, dig, or whatever. Lock them in a sound proof room. Raise the volume on the player on high. Stick in the tape, play, run out, close the door, they killed themselves!!YES!
46.Cut there limbs off, feed them to a pack of lions.
47.See what happens when you light forty matchs and stick them in a pokemon's mouth and eyes.
48. Give them to me(alive) Let me torture them with my evil mind and I'll record it for you.
49.Make them your slave, if they disobey you shoot one of their limbs, if they don't do anything well shoot a limb, when there are no more limbs, shoot them in the forehead, you get jobs done and pleasure.
50.Get a dog to rape them, in a room locked, so they won't run away.
51. Let them watch Barney, non-stop.
52.Take their head, stick it up their ass and see how much of them you can stick them up their ass.
53. Put them in a room and have there only water and food source there urine and sh*t, make sure they goto the barthroom first.
54. tie them down, take a remote control airplane, let the plane fly, and swoop down on the pokemon several times.
55.keep on punching them in the gut so you knock all the wind out of them.
56.Since pokemon are from hell, take gasoline and pour it all around in a big area, take the pokemon and throw them in and say, welcome home.
57. Get wet cement, stick them in(head first). Wait till it all dries, crack it open(in half). You have a mold and a pokemon stuffed(a real stuffed pokemon, now that would sell, and statues.)
58.Glue their feet down.
a.Let something rape it.
b.Pour glue all over it, let it dry, then again and again and again.
c. Take there other limbs, slit them. You have free red paint.
d. Take a sword(dull for more torture, yes dull.) Start copping it up.
e. poke it with a pencil to death, now thats a pokemon.
f. Let a mob of pokefreaks at them, they'll rip him to shra
des because they want a survenear of it. 59. Tie them to a bed.
a. tickle them to death with a knife.(razer sharp)
b.again let something rape them(I know thats nasty but hey the idea hit me)
c.put dynimate under them, light, watch. OOO the pokemon dead, YEA!!
d.have a sheet of spikes under the pokemon, raise slowly.
e.put gas under the pokemon, then light it. Cooked pokemon.
60.On a steam engine train, purposely accidently throw the pokemon in the engine.
61.In a car crusher, put the pokemon in there, while its on.
Take your hands, put them around their neck. And then put your hands together.
62. Say you'll give them a tic tac, but really its a highly poisonous drug that looks like one.
63. kick them in the face and watch there head fly.
64. Throw them down Niagra Falls.
65. Get the Predator on them.
66.Tie them to a garage door, then open it.
67.Tie their legs together, tie them to a car, with a long piece of rope. Then brake the speed limit.
68.Make them fight a shark in the middle of the Pacific. Who will win?
69.put a plasic bag over their head, now thats awsome. But make sure it
70.Make them tight rope, on thread. Weak thread.
71.Say you need an oil change and ask them to do it. Have them under the
car. Quitly get in the car. DRIVE!!! 72.Tell the pokemon that your their friend and they know a person that will try to kill them, so they were going to get the cops on them for killing and selling drugs. Then say that the pokemon should run no matter what they say, and you'll back them up. Then tell the cops that the pokemon is a killer and a drug dealer, tell where the pokemon is, never back the pokemon up then watch all the bullets and blood all over the place.
73. Create a diesease like the Red Death(a dark age diesease where all your blood comes out of your spores, doesn't exist anymore to my knowledge) but only have it on pokemon. Man there go all the pokemon, so make sure you do all the other things before this one.hey how about makeing a cure for pokefever.

Now I do not tourture animals, I will cudle a mouse, but kill a pikachu, I will pet a cat, but burn a meowthe. Please do not do these things, well only if Pokemon really exists or a stupid gene scientist will make pokemon, but then Pokemon season will be open. Oh and all misspelled words, I DON'T CARE!!!! besides they were accidents.